Luis Gabriel Rivas
What’s the number one cause of failure in relationships today? All together now – communication! Communication isn’t just about opening up and letting your feelings out – it’s about listening to what your partner is saying and making sure they know you hear them. If you sit and nod and wait for them to finish making a point just so you can make yours, how do they know you hear them?
The next time you and your significant other have a heart to heart, decide in advance to really hear and understand their point of view – and to make sure they know they got through. This really isn’t that hard; it consists of two simple steps, repeated until you are both satisfied.
Step One: When your partner makes a point, repeat it in your mind a few times. This will keep you from jumping to conclusions about ‘what they really mean.’
Step Two: Say “I hear you; you said -” and repeat what they said to you out loud – it doesn’t have to be word perfect, but you have to get the central thought right. If you don’t, then you didn’t get it, so let them tell you again until you get it right.
This cuts down on miscommunication – how many times have you said something, and the other person came away with the completely wrong impression? Letting your partner know you are really listening can go a long way towards building trust and respect, and makes them willing to do the same for you.
For more info on communication and its importance to relationships, visit Love Clinic.
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